What appears to be the pitch for a sequel to Steven Covey’s wildly famous book “7 habits of highly Effective People” was found in a trashcan at a suburban Dunkin Donuts outside Hope, Indiana:
Be reactive – No reason to do anything unless you have to. If the universe wants your opinion, it will ask. Lots of mistakes happen because people start to think about what they “think” other people want, like that Christmas where my wife bought me a years subscription to the gym…tough place to be reactive… nothing seems to be happening unless you have a similar “proactive” mindset and begin picking up the weights or turning on the treadmill (which incidentally, turned on, is a wonderfully reactive instrument. You just have to continue to react to the continuously protruding surface in a consistent manner aligned with the velocity of the selfsame surface).
Begin with no end in mind – You never know where you end up anyway, so better start the day or hour or anything with a clear mind. If Gandhi had known where he wanted to end up he would have just taken the train and no gathering would have followed him. You see this philosophy very clearly in the former president of U.S.A., George Bush, he didn’t even know where the sentence would end when he began it. You also see it in athletes like American football icons Brett Favre or Tony Romo – they frequently have no clue where this will end. There are even sports where the only way to succeed is not thinking about the end like a marathon (you are going to end up a couple of hours older, hours that have been filled with intense boredom – better not think about it), Paris-Dakar rally (what’s in Dakar anyway?) or Cycling (you WILL be confessing to doping throughout your entire career in the end, so you wouldn’t be able to enjoy it if you thought about it in the beginning).
Put what ever comes to mind first – The brain is the most powerful tool of the human body. So, what ever it chooses to come up with first must be the best. Highly ineffective people come to work and sit down and start doing what ever comes to mind. This is the explanation of the otherwise incomprehensible success of internet services like LOL cats, facebook, youtube and various NSFW sites (after all what is the first thing you think about when you start working (if you can really call it work (what I mean is that work is probably not the first thing that comes to mind anyway (right?))))). In a similar way this rule is the only explanation of how politicians like the US congress, Silvio Berlusconi, Vladimir Putin or Francois Hollande get elected. People come to vote and just put their mark, like, wherever.
Think “no-win” – There is no way you will win anyway, so you may as well stop trying. Better to save the energy. It could be used to browse e-bay for that funny cat thermo-jacket or rare volumes of Marvel comics that remind you of when you were a child and could still get excited about something, but now you have a boring job where your boss calls you in for a one-on-one just because you joked that the company sales graph looked like your weener at that all-staff meeting… Thinking “no-win” will also spare you the pain of failure. Winners are decided well in advance anyway by a secret organization situated deep in the Appalachian mountains consisting of 50% aliens, Dolph Lundgren, Michael Jackons “alledged” monkey Bubbles, and poor Latvian immigrant workers.
Seek no understanding – the universe is full of mysteries. You can’t understand all of it anyway. Better to reflect on the impossibility of true understanding than wasting time reading that manual, tax regulations, any book by Heidegger or French philosophers.
The highly ineffective man has long given up understanding what ”It’s ok if you want some time alone” or “do you think I look fat?” means when uttered by a woman.
The highly ineffective woman has long given up understanding what all the fuss is with that ball thingy…
Don’t believe in synergy – The word synergy is a contraction of sin and energy, written by an illiterate 8th grader, and may not be such a bad thing now that I think about it. Anyway, everybody knows that either I get the donut or you get the donut. No amount of synergy is going to double that donut. Not even Dunkin Donuts… Putting a hallucinogen in your coffee might though. Which is not a bad idea for a combo: mushroom coffee and donuts. Buy one, get two. All those different colors at Dunkin Donuts start to make sense now…
Drift towards complacency – ”Your rock”! No reason to change anything. Highly ineffective people tend to find the magic formula and stick with it. If somebody invents something that plays music even though you don’t put a tape into it, who cares? The walkman was the endgame for music consumption.
At work you will see people living by this rule kindly, but firmly, with an austere look tell generation Ys that there is a reason that we do things this way, although they can’t really think of that reason anymore. But before things get awkward, the generation Ys are already engaged in tweeting about a youtube video, that someone on instagram took some screenshots of and made into a Vine clip and mentioned on snap chat.